another livejournal

3 songs i’ve liked a lot lately:

it is funny to me that hipster music is now NPR music.

these songs are so good though. excellent work, vampy weekend.

wish i knew more about music, wish i knew what the sound was in this song, like is that a distorted guitar? a keyboard? what is it

scott has informed me that this band is a very big deal in the UK right now and that there is a lot of talk about whether they are an industry plant or not. so we watched an interview with them and concluded that most of them were too funny-looking to be a fake band but maybe this discussion is just misogyny and also aren’t all bands industry plants?

i thought the lyric was “and you can hold me, like an elder, and i’ll fuck you, like nothing matters.” but then i found out it actually said “and you can hold me, like he held her” and i was very disappointed.

holding someone like an elder: you are treating them with respect and deference and a bit of delicateness and protectiveness.

feel good about vice ending, like fuck them. i agree with blake’s tweet about it.

my experience with writing this for vice was very nutty… the editor wanted to pay me a fraction of what he offered one of the other writers in the series and i had to negotiate with him and then i had to harass him over and over to get paid and the series was extremely delayed, like i think by over a year, and then stacy and i got into a big fight and i haven’t spoken to her since. except for when she yelled at me on an instagram post.

but writing it and researching it were extremely fun and i really enjoyed stacy… she is like many people i have known, talented and charismatic but just kind of a tornado.

my spellcheck is recommending i capitalize vice, lol.

i am watching girls for the 500th time (ok maybe the 4th time) and i love it so much. when it first came out i did not like it but i think that’s because i thought i was special and that a major studio was incapable of portraying my life

but it did that, i am not special, it correctly portrayed what it is like to be an artsy young person living in a major city in the early 2010s.

feel grateful now to have a TV show version of my youth

this line made me cackle with laughter

on the girls subreddit, people are like ADAM IS A SOCIOPATH and i want to be like “no, baby child, he is just regular.”

i would like to find the woman who was an artsy person in a major city during the early 2010s who doesn’t have an ex-boyfriend who reminds them of adam.

i have like five.

also, adam reminds me of me.

my ear saga continues… last weekend my ear got worse again so i called the cyber doctor and he gave me really insane antibiotics and i took them

and then on Weds i had to abruptly cancel class because i felt so awful

and then yesterday my ear was still being the same so i went to the regular doctor and she told me i could stop taking the horrid pills, and that my ear was no longer infected, she thought it was just mad, and gave me prednisone to make my body less mad.

feel like i am always taking prednisone because my body is always mad

MAN! those antibiotics were awful. it felt like covid minus the respiratory shit, except the body pains were like… weirder. like “here is a pain in 38% of one rib and here is another in a wrist bone.”

i accidentally found an entire subreddit dedicated to hating these antibiotics and trying to spread word about how evil they are and i had to pretend i didn’t see it.

feeling better today, but still a bit under the weather, so here i am, two weeks later, in the exact same place, of needing to take it easy and i really hate taking it easy, so so sick of taking it easy

everybody wants to read about my body ailments

taking it easy just makes me want to spend money, like i should spend $500 on anna sui dresses from the real real.

this week, i had to go to a training at work and we were presented with a very bad metaphor that i haven’t been able to stop thinking about.

we were asked if we would rather be an egg, a carrot, or coffee when it comes to change.

we were shown an egg, a wrinkled old carrot, and a ziploc bag with a few tablespoons of coffee grounds in it, and also a pot.

it felt like i was in an episode of the office

we were told that in water, an egg becomes hard, a carrot becomes soft, and coffee transforms. and we should be like the coffee, and not let change harden us or make us weak.

and my head-voice was SCREAMING SO LOUD and it took so much restraint to not say my thoughts aloud.

mainly: AN EGG IS NOT HARD. IT TRANSFORMS. A HARD-BOILED EGG IS PORTABLE AND DELICIOUS AND IT IS RUBBlERY, NOT HARD, AND YOU CAN TURN IT INTO MANY THINGS, BEFORE YOU BOIL IT IS FRAGILE, I WANT TO BE THE EGG. IF YOU WANT TO SAY WE BECOME HARD, TALK ABOUT BOILING A SHOE. EGGS WORK AS A BINDER AND HOLD THINGS TOGETHER

and also: ACTUALLY A CARROT BECOMES MORE NUTRITIOUS ONCE YOU COOK IT

really annoyed at my brain for not being able to let this go

i also want to talk about my dream. another thing everybody wants to read about. but a horrible thing happened to one of the kids (so horrible i don’t want to type it) and then it was like we were on the river styx and gian appeared and he looked very dead, kinda looked like michael keaton in beetlejuice, and he was like “yeah man, this is where all the bad shit happens.