when i say i'm in love, you best believe I’m IN LUV L-U-V

Yesterday after I corrected my attitude I was doing ok for a while but then I had a big old flip out!!!!

Scott and I got into a regular argument but then I took it next level and behaved like a scary tornado… felt out of control, in a way I haven’t felt since the Dark Winter of 2021.

That winter, I had reasons to be unstable but yesterday I had no reason to be unstable and I couldn’t figure out what was going on.

Scott said he thought i was having a psychological reaction to antibiotics, which has happened to him before. I’d never heard of such a thing but then I asked the internet, and yes, that is a thing, they think it’s connected to the gut-brain connection, and it’s especially common for people with bipolar or schizophrenia.

lol, I can’t take antibiotics without having a weird reaction.

Feel like bipolar is just like… faulty wiring.

So many things I cannot do or cannot do like a “normal” person.

Years ago, I was hanging out with my AA friend Keith and we came up with a theory that people with mental illness and/or addiction issues are like the feelers for the world, we have especially sensitive antennae which is somehow essential to the well-being of the universe.

AA friends are like summer camp friends, in that you get close to them but then they disappear from your life and you don’t really notice until you think of them randomly 12 years later.

No idea what happened to him, I liked that guy. Hope you are doing well, Keith.

Scott also said I did a bad job of “taking it easy” yesterday and my idea of “taking it easy” was incorrect. (I worked on making videos.)

He said my idea for today was better, which is pick up the messy house but not actually clean, and make some blueberry muffins, and then see how I feel.

I picked up the house but it made me feel tuckered out from the movement so now I am sitting on the couch listening to the Shangri-Las and typing this.

The Shangri-Las are very funny to me, the teenage tragedy storylines.

One of the greatest lines of pop music: he’s good-bad, but he’s not evil.

Good Bad Not Evil is also an excellent album by the Black Lips.

2007 was a good year for music.

This song is confusingly pro-military and also anti-military. I think its anti-military sentiment makes the pro-military sentiment come across as tongue-in-cheek, and therefore is ultimately anti-military.

i personally am military-neutral. I think it is bad, yet apparently necessary, although I wish it wasn’t, and also I think we need to be more positive toward people who join the military, because otherwise the only people who join the military are poor people and psychos, and that seems bad.

A more extreme position I hold is that we should bring back the draft, but it’s a universal draft, and most people who are drafted are placed into civil service doing shit like building libraries or something.

Here is Jelly sacked out on “her bed” (iris’ bed with an old sheet protecting it from dog hair for jelly use when iris isn’t here).